Vision Board - Sally Neckvatal - Who Is The Real Me?  July 2016

When I first heard about this challenge I related it to the design boards -- a vision, really - that I had to create when I was studying Interior design at the U of M. But I wanted to make this challenge more personal. So what do I think, dream, envision?

WHO IS THE REAL ME?

Frankly and perhaps unfortunately, every part of some day for as long as I can remember is something to do with "weight". What would it be like to be slender always? What would it be like to never have a doctor, mother, father, brother, friend or anyone else (my husband has always told me I'm beautiful everyday at any weight)  tell you that you should lose some weight? What would it be like to pull a pair of jeans out of the dryer, ones that you wore just last week, and not worry if they would fit today? What would it be like to just try to eat healthily most of the the but still enjoy a glass of wine, a brownie, or a hamburger every few days (and NOT be able to hear their siren call every day, all day), exercise moderately, and never again worry about WHAT THE SCALE SAYS!

But alas, we are bombarded daily with messages about fatness as well as what the media tells us is the ideal vision of beauty, and thus value.



I have a hard time with my own "fat acceptance."  I don't want to be fat, but I am bombarded by messages that hint that I AM fat.  This was confirmed, as it always is, today by my mother.  We don't get a long well, but I went to her 90th birthday. The first thing she says  is, "well you still look fiarly thin." "No mom," I say, "I'm overweight, let's be honest." "Well, you're right, you're not thin but at least you've kept a lot of the weight off and that's better than you were."  Every conversation I have with her starts off about my weight--MY WEIGHT.  She spent a lot of years telling me about my weight and what I should do about it (she's always battled weight too). No wonder I'm still wondering who the real me is. But to be fair to myself, I lost another person in weight 14 years ago, and I've kept all but a  toddler off.

In this quilt I show a fairly good representation of what I look like for real, and what I'd like to look like always. What I dream and envision I want to look like. Even at my normal weight I'm not sure I ever looked slim though in my mind.  So, I've tried to show that the real me has to wear clothing that covers more and is  built for lots more support.  The slim woman, however, can wear more stylish articles that don't require all that support.

I've also put some messages on the quilt, messages that we get all the time, negative, positive, and in between.  I could have put on 500 more, but it's a quilt, and is representative only!

I used commercial cottons, Steam-A-Seam II and Sulky threads, Quilters Dream and Hobbs Wool battings. The bodies and heads and faces were drawn by me.  Drawn about 90 times until I was satisfied because I'm really not a figure artist.  I'd like to be, but I just don't have time to truly work at the art.